My Best Friend (Skit)

[B:] Hello, what you doing here, who are you?
[The Flying Dutchman:] Het jy my tv ??
[B:] My codename is Mikhail Breznikov, but you can call me Bongi
[The Flying Dutchman:] (snort) nice name, where'd you get it? the Waterfront?
[B:] Don't you think I've been mocked enough, because my father, Sipho, did not put a click in my name?
[The Flying Dutchman:] Versin!
[B:] I was taken by the Russians as a slave, but I maintain my Sowetan heritage with this afro.
[The Flying Dutchman:] Verstaan jy Afrikaans?
[B:] stop! English only - I do not understand your language.
[The Flying Dutchman:] mm? why am I here?
[The Flying Dutchman:] Ja waars ons kinders?
[B:] I said English. Can you handle it?
[The Flying Dutchman:] Hmm?
[B:] Because you are cute and I like to lick the chocolate starfish
if you are wondering why my voice is not in sync with my lips,
it is because when I was a little boy my best friend Jacob Zuma taught me how to talk shit
and just like him I have mastered it, and I now talk through my ass as well.