Laf Nag

Max: At the end of the day,
I'm on my way
home on the highway,
thank god it's Friday,

Max Normal in 9 to 5,
you know the vibe,
push some overtime, clock out,
then home to wife.

Then I noticed that I don't know where the hell I am,
Must've taken a wrong turn,
Shit, let me phone home,
(Phone Ringing)
"Hey Honey,
Listen don't get cross,
I'm gonna be a little late, I'm just a bit lost."

(Wife: "You promised you'd be home Max... I can't believe this... Don't do this to me... don't do this to me.")

What? you're breaking up,
I've got bad reception,
I've got a crap connection,
I'm just gonna get directions,
Go back to the intersection,
wind down my window,
to speak to some kids,
but before I speak the kids go:

(HOOK)
Tik, Tik Lollypop,
[something] van gom
Allie vinger bang bang, rou soos die Son
Brand jou uit die blind(?) [something]
Papa papa pas op vir die Neon Don

Max: Ok, nice,
don't know what the hell that was all about
let me speak to these two guys coming round the corner now

Knoffel Bruin: Djy! Check julle! Gaan speel 'n ander plek! Gaan maak vir jou ma 'n koppie tee!

Neon Don: Can I help you?

Max: Hi guys, I made a bum steer,
Do you know how I get to the highway from here?

Don: Check the plains it's kinda hard to explain,
I still don't want to put a klomp strain on your brain.

Max: Uh, what are you doing?

[they get in the car]
KB: It's ok, we can show you the way.
Don: If you want to get to the highway drive straight.
Max: Hi, I'm Max Normal
Don: Dress code strictly formal? Naa kwaai.
KB: Ek sê ons rob die fokken naai
Don: Hou jou bek, voetsek
KB: Ek sal doen wat ek wil
Don: Hier's 'n pil
KB: Siesa!
Don: Crack 'n diep skyf en chill.

Neon Don: turn left here Maxi, right-o you got it?
Awê my gazi, a genuine leather wallet?
Don: Awwww, wie's die duidelike meisie
KB: Wys me
Don: Kyk hie
KB: (smooch) Hello baby
Max: Hey that's my wife

Don: Nuh Max, you got a nice suit
But wys me now, kykie, why you wearing my shoes?
Max: Uh, these are my shoes
Don: Come now don't be insecure
I'm a size nine let my try them on to be sure
Daar's it nou, lekker snug like a glove
Take a puff mah bru
Max: Uhhh no thank you
[Don cocks a gun]
Don: Smoke this or I smoke you
[Max takes a tiny puff]
Uh uh uh Max, that won't do
KB: Don't take a moffie skyf Max, you better klap it
Don: Puff it! Do it! We kop-kick vir wakker [unsure]
[Max Takes a bunch of big hits!]
[Laughter]

(Hook)

Max: Whoo Jesus H. Christ
Going on, going on, [something] on, deep space naai
Getting insecure, very bad feeling
Creepy flow lee(?)
Need to go sleep or go pee, a homie
Laughing at me with no teeth oh jeez
This shit is so deep
My brain's custard
What's happening
I don't understand, Max in Wonderland
Wearing nothing but his flipping underpants
Neon Don's in my socks and my shoes
Plus he's rocking my suit
Fuck it I'm too
High to open up the door let me climb through
The window
Huh where are we?
Half inside half outside my body
What's that noise? Sounds like a party
Down a little passage and go open a black gate
Old woman: Just go through the back gate!
Fucking creepy!
An old lady reading a bible in bed watching TV
By the back door
Into the back yard
I'm at peace thank god
What the? A big black dog!
Voetsek!
[Hey!]

The lights get dim
Everybody says Hi to Don
I'm with him!
A lot of boob tube tops, a lot of low ride jeans
Hi everybody don't mind me
Cold beer's pumping out the freezer in the garage
Don getting jiggy with some chicky with a fat arse
Some guys by the braai playing dominoes go
[Go Donny Don go Donny Don go]
God my head's fried
I got the red eyes
Little kids running around way after bedtime
Looking funky in my undies
Still need to wee
Don grabs the mic on the karaoke machine
Don: Wie maakie jol vol?
Crowd: Donnie maakie jol vol!
Don: Wie maakie jol vol?
Crowd: Donnie maakie jol vol!
Go Donnie! Go go! Go Donnie! Go go! Go Donnie! Go go! Go Donnie! Go go!
KB: Maxi innie ghetto!
Crowd: A naughty ghetto!
KB: Maxi innie ghetto!
Crowd: A naughty ghetto!
Go Maxi! Say say! Go Maxi! Say say! Go Maxi! Say say!
Yepa!

Max: My mind's open third eye strobing
When Neon Don's brand new cellphone rings
Don: Hello
(wife: "Is Max there?")
Don: "Just hang on, it's your wife Maxi"
Hi honey
(wife: "I thought you were dead!")
Eh don't say that, I'm just hanging with some new friends in the Cape Flats
(wife: "Are you frikkin mad Max!")
Eh don't say that! Listen I got another call on hold, I'll call straight back

(Hook)

Max: It's the start of a new day
I'm on my way
home on the highway
in my underpants
hitch-hiking,
mirror's(?) lighting
I was so frightened,
woo, what a night man!
ooh, there's a white van, cool!
I'm so glad you guys stopped
out the white van jumped two white cops

Cops: Is everything all right with you?

Max: Nee, alles is kwaai my bru!